Growth

I had a lot of goals for the new year. Not really on purpose...I just had some things in my life I needed to change and it happened to be right around December so why not use the change of the calendar as a fresh start? A month later things are going really well. I know, only a month, but you have to celebrate small milestones I believe. As I started these changes I realized something. A lesson my whole life in the making. This quote inspires me.

"Do one thing every day that scares you." -Eleanor Roosevelt

As I tried more than one thing totally out of my comfort zone this last month I realized how therapeutic it was.  I realized how much more fun I was allowing myself to have. I noticed all the self improvements I was able to make simply by leaving my comfort zone, and in turn expanding it. I saw all the things I was missing because I was holding myself back.

The next month is already packed with things that make me uncomfortable. I am scared/stressed/nervous. But so excited. I already like who I am now a whole lot more than who I was a month ago. For me, having a baby rocked my world. I lost my identity and over a year later I am still trying to find joy and put the pieces together. It is an every day battle, but I know I will win.

I am so grateful as I venture out on these frightening experiences I always have a safe, comfortable place to come back to. I love my home, and the people in it, and its that foundation that allows me to grow in other experiences. So I have started small...attending fitness classes alone, calling people on the phone (you have no clue how shy I am), taking some new clients, and daring myself to stay ahead of the laundry rush are a few of this month's feats. February already has some frightening things scheduled but I feel ready to fight the negative voice in my head telling me I might fail. I feel more empowered already.

Australia Day

Today is Australia Day. As you might remember, my bff sister lived there for years, and I was able to visit. I really enjoyed my time there. The people were great, the food was yum (mostly), and there is not a more beautiful place. Today I wish we could celebrate with some authentic Honeycomb Tim Tams, a chocolate covered churro, or with some of that divine best-shrimp-of-my-life I enjoyed while there. Luckily I still have a supply of Milo, and can put pineapple and a fried egg on my burger! I thought I would post a few of my favorite pics from that trip.

Technically Kyle was with me...since I was 16ish weeks pregnant on this trip. I hope to return someday, with Ryan, and bff sister since they no longer live there. Wouldn't hate watching the Australian Open live rather than staying up all night watching it online (like last night...stupid Nadal). Happy Australia Day!

Tiffi

We are lucky enough to live just down the street from my Grandma...she is about the coolest Grandma around. She also happens to have an adorable, and VERY patient dog. Kyle is obsessed. He also like to take stuff away from Tiffi...caught him tonight.

1. Eyeing it. 2. Swiping it. 3. Caught. 4. Enjoying his victory

Winter Diving

Its Friday! Kyle and I celebrated by gathering all our pillows into the family room and diving onto them. Funny, I can't think of anything I would rather be doing on a Friday afternoon really....and I know Kyle was quite a fan. See?

 This boy LOVES his pillows. That combined with the fact he loves his haircut so much he cries when its over...makes me know he is MY son. Have a great weekend!

Simplicity

I don't know why, but for some reason on the days I drive Ryan to school, it is often a time of reflection for me. Maybe it is because BYU campus holds SO many memories for me. Or maybe because it is early morning, and I always think more early in the morning. Whatever the reason, I always like it. Here are today's thoughts.

Today it just hit me. A year from now our lives will be forever different. The student era ends, and we move on. I have looked forward, and counted down to that day since...probably as long as Ryan and I have been together. We have been students our entire marriage. This is typical, I know. But today it made me think. I am constantly talking about the next phase of life. Moving away. Buying a house. Today I realized I will really miss this stage of life. It is a unique, special time. Our memories made in Provo are priceless. This is where we met, fell in love, had Kyle...and so much more.

Sure, living on a student budget gets frustrating, and the amount of homework and such is hard. And we would LOVE to take a vacation! But there is a certain simplicity to our lives that I know we might never have again. One child, a young one at that. The real intense stress and worry has not fully set in as far as parenting goes. Kyle is easy, and with 2 parents and 1 child, things are simple. Ryan loves his school and work. Simple. We teach sunbeams at church. Simple. I work 2 days a week doing something I enjoy, and at any time I can change my hours. Simple. There is no long term pressure. We aren't grown up yet. I am not saying life is a piece of cake and everything is lovely. Not at all. But I realized today that this is a special time and rather than wishing it away I need to soak it up for the next year. Because after that, real life is started, ready or not.

Chances are we will not live in Utah next year, and that is very exciting. Not because I am a Utah hater, because I am definitely not. Since moving here kicking and screaming years ago, this place has become home. I love it. We love being close to family, and things are very comfortable. We aren't trying to leave Utah, but that just seems to be how it is going to be. (though I could be totally wrong, you can't predict these these things...we have thought we were leaving before but always end up staying). I will miss Utah. And even if we were to stay here, I will miss this life. Money is hard to come by, I hate feeling so stranded, and renting gets old...but I love us. I really do. I have not been loving it lately. I have been complaining, and wishing it all away. But when it comes down to it I am content. I am grateful to be able to spend as much time with Kyle as I do, and I know I will miss this simple time more and more as life gets more complicated.

Today I am content. And with one year of school to go, I want to wrap myself up in it and snuggle in its comfort.

Some songs

Caught Kyle doing some of my favorite things last week. I apologize that my gross cold inflicted singing voice is the audio.

I think we will keep him.

A weekend in the life of us.

This weekend was not unlike other weekends...although it sort of started Friday and spilled over a bit to Monday. Sort of.  Nothing too special happened, but it was a good one. Here's what happened.

 Kels and I took advantage of an afternoon with babysitters...sometimes ya just gotta get out baby free. It was so nice being free in the middle of the day and shopping with no little man friends.

I discovered dried peas at Sunflower Market. So delicious. Perfect salty, crunchy snack. Try them. Cheap too!

We had a Netflix/Magic Bullet date night. Movie was terrible, but the smoothies and the company made up for it.

We went to lunch with Ryan's extended family and Kyle took advantage of the all you can eat part.

 We took a walk down to the lake to see the not so little piggies. Kyle went crazy. The weather was beautiful. It was the high point of the weekend for sure.

I helped this girl clean out some space for her lover to move in. And by help I mean I took all the clothes she was getting rid of off her hands. Thanks for the wardrobe boost Mare. (can we discuss how excited I am for the WEDDING!)

*Not pictured: Running, Australian Open viewing, hair cutting, Ryan computing/schooling, Quilting, Sunbeam teaching, Croquet playing, Vegetarian cooking, Laundry folding, Dish washing, and lots of playing/chasing with our favorite crazy man.

Good weekend. OK back to reality.

Another month gone by

I bet you thought I would give up on the whole monthly posting thing after 12 months...but why not?! Maybe eventually I will calm down, but for now Kyle is still growing, and doing new stuff every day and I would like to document that. Today he turns 13 months. This last month was filled with so many firsts and new things.

• First hospital stay. SO much vomiting! But he is doing swell now.
• He got his first xray and cat scan.
• We found out he is NOT lactose intolerant. Blessing.
• He lost a pound, then gained 2.
• His hair is almost visible now.
• He went up a shoe size.
• He can stand unsupported for small moments, but not close to walking yet.
• He can crawl even faster, didn't think that was possible.
• He can point to his nose and ears when asked to.
• He has so many words! He has been getting a new one each day it seems. Most recently "cheese" and "did it" have entered his vocab. 
• He is constantly talking, it just doesn't usually make sense.
• He can roll his arms when you start singing do as I'm doing.
• He claps his hands to if you're happy and you know it.
• He can send a text message....or 15...sorry kels
• He loves to dance
• He can safely go up and down stairs
• He thinks work out videos are hilarious and always applauds me at the end.
• He loves cheese, chicken nuggets, and limes.
• He hates his teeth brushed.
• He has like 14 teeth, including molars. Maybe even more.
• He bits. Go figure.
• He is super active, as a little boy should be.
• He loves being outside, even in the cold.
• He throws things...far.
• He likes to say tickle tickle while tickling his own feet, but also finds it hilarious to get other people's feet.
• He has a bit of a temper...hates things taken away from him.
• Pickiest eater I have ever seen.
• He is definitely attached to his bottle intensely. He gets one more week then its gone cold turkey. Bleh.
• He goes to bed at 6...and hardly makes it that long.
• He sits by the door waving bye when he wants to go out. 
• He loves playing with other kids, especially older kids.
• He had his second Christmas, and despite being so sick, had quite a good time.

I had to stop myself cause the list was getting too long. He is just so funny. We love watching his little personality develop more and more. He is such a good boy, I know I am spoiled. As much as I hated to see him so sick, the cuddles were amazing. No more of that, but I am happy he is healthy and hyper again. The older he gets the more fun we have being his parents. He definitely keeps us laughing. 

Double Standard

How come if you don't have kids and you wear sweats in public you are just "tired" or "comfy" or whatever (to a point, I am not talking just rolled outta bed nasty). Once you have kids and you do this you are suddenly "frumpy" and "have let yourself go"? I mean, I am a believer in looking nice and always getting ready regardless of your stage in life...but when I want to run out in my comfies real quick...I'd rather not be judged. Before I had kids there were days I didn't get all done up, and I felt fine about it. Whatever. See you tonight, Target. In my yoga pants.

Confessions

I love fast food.

I love chocolate.

I love ice cream.

I love diet coke.

I love treats.

I love honey roasted peanuts.

I love relaxing.

I love sleep.

I especially love fries.

I love eating out.

I love delicious things. 

BUT

I love feeling energetic, healthy, proud, accomplished, active, and happy EVEN MORE. I love when I look in the mirror and see something I don't love, but I think, that's ok, I am working on it, rather that sinking into a session of self loathing. I love the feeling of bettering myself, not just physically, but overall. I know these things from past experience but sometimes I forget, and my love of the previous list takes over. I am grateful when I remember that REAL happiness for me, comes hand in hand with healthy choices and goal oriented days, even if it means going without a few things and losing a bit of sleep. 

Let's review..

A little late...but I have enjoyed others year reviews so much I thought I would do one of my own. Bandwagoner...always.

January

• We said goodbye to my beloved Monty. He was such a good car, I had a hard time saying goodbye
• We enjoyed our first month of parenthood. Whew. Rough month to be honest, but totally worth it.

February

• We blessed our sweet boy
• We got box seats to a Jazz game
• We enjoyed Jimmer-mania!

March

• We thought Kyle was all grown up at 3 months
• We loved intense snow storms
• Ryan and I ran the Rex Lee 5k

April

• We took a fun trip to Las Vegas
• We celebrated the beginning of baseball season!
• Ryan quit customer service(!!!) and started an engineering internship for the summer

May

• Had a party for Ryan's favorite holiday! (cinco de mayo)
• I celebrated my first mother's day
• We planted flowers and loved doing YARD work...peace out apartments

June

• We celebrated 3 years of marriage!
• We went camping as much as possible
• Kyle turned half a year! We celebrated half birthdays.
• We loved Summer Sno
• We lived at 7 Peaks
• We loved Olwz games
• Ryan celebrated his first father's day
• We had the best summer ever

July

• The Brown family came from Australia!
• More camping
• Michelle and I ran the Pioneer Day 10k
• Kyle had his first haircut!
• So much summer fun

August

• Ryan turned 26!
• Kyle and I went to San Diego for a wedding
• We had a fun Lundgreen Family reunion
• We soaked up the end up of fun summer days

 September

• BYU football began
• Ryan's internship ended and he started working for BYU doing research as he continued his grad school

October

• BYU football saturdays
• Kyle and I went to Texas to see the Brown's
• The Cardinals won the WORLD SERIES!!
• I ran my first marathon. AHHH!!
• Halloween!

November

• Kyle joined the annual Thanksgiving hike to the Y
• We loved Thanksgiving with the Lundgreens

December

• I turned 24
• Kyle turned ONE!!!
• Kyle spent a night in the hospital, but made a full recovery
• Ryan finished a whole year of grad school
• We loved our little Christmas at home

Well we really loved 2011. We had made a goal to DO more. Have more fun. I think we definitely did. I also crossed the marathon off my list, which felt great. Ryan worked his tail off in work and school. This year holds much of the same...grad school, parenting, hair styling, growing, and enjoying our family. It is up to us to make it great.