Just in case you didn't hear....

WE WON!!! GO CARDS!!!

I think it is all thanks to Kyle...after all they did win the first series of his life.

Did you see...

...the World Series last night? If not, you missed just about the best game ever played. Mind blowing. 

Here is the very end...

Bad video...but holy smokes. And this is only a tiny portion of the amazing things that happen. 

GO CARDS!!!!

Tonight will be intense. I understand people not being as big of sports fans as we are in our little family...but not liking post season MLB really confuses me...it is baseball at its best. 

Good luck tonight St. Louis!

 Last night we went to Ryan's sister's house, where they are cheering for Texas. It is all in good fun:)

Kyle ready to watch with his rival cousins

Yesterday

I blog to document life. Yesterday something big happened. Kyle and I flew home from Texas, where we had spent two fabulous weeks with my bff sister. I will blog about that trip later, for now I want to write about five amazing minutes I experienced on that flight home.

Some people feel like a mother from the minute they see their positive pregnancy test. Others feel it when they hear their baby's heartbeat, or feel its first movement. More still join the mom club the minute the baby is handed to them for the very first time. This wasn't the case for me. Don't get me wrong, I have always felt a deep love for my little Kyle, but that magical connection and amazing feeling of being a mom was never there for me. I would always hear women talk about how amazing it was and all that stuff, and I sort of felt out of the loop. Of course I love Kyle, and I would do anything for him, but something was missing for me. I couldn't fully relate when these others moms would talk about that special bond.

I was nervous for the flight yesterday just because flying alone with a little man is the sort of thing that makes me nervous. About an hour into the flight I was just staring at Kyle while he was very intently playing with my necklace on my lap. The necklace that didn't at all match my outfit, but I knew Kyle loved playing with so I wore it anyways. As I was staring at him something just flipped on in my brain. I was his mom. I thought about our journey that day of checking in (where they took my stroller..lame) and then carrying our two large bags and Kyle through the ordeal of security then all the way to our gate. I also had managed to make a bottle while holding him and all our stuff. Then I knew just how to keep him happy and entertained in the flight with the bag I specially packed full of all his favorite things. I had just finished tickling him until he could hardly breathe because he was laughing so hard. Then there I sat watching him play with the outfit I had chosen to wear solely to entertain him. I am not saying I am amazing or anything, any mom does stuff like this and much more.  But for me, it all amounted to something magical. I felt like his mom. It felt amazing. I suddenly felt fulfilled and I felt that bond. The magical bond I had heard other talk about. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere, Kyle laid his head on my chest and zonked. Totally asleep cuddling with me. It was like he knew I was having some intense moment and wanted to make it even better. This euphoric feeling lasted a few more minutes while I listened to him snore on my chest. Magical.

The intensity of that feeling didn't last long. But it has made a lasting impact. After almost 10 months of pregnancy, and another 10 months of motherhood, I feel the part. I feel like his Mom. And that feeling, has changed everything for me.

 Chillin' at the port waiting for our flight

10 months

Wow! Double digits! My little man is getting so mature. I continue to think every phase is my all time favorite, and then the next month tops it. I have learned a lot this past month. Just when I declare my house officially baby proof, Kyle learns something new that makes me rethink everything. If you have a baby and your house is nicely decorated...I am impressed. I have had to remove everything from my end tables, coffee table, and just about everywhere else...next I might need to just remove the whole table. Kyle is an intense little guy and I love it. He keeps me on my toes, and is very patient and forgiving with me as I learn. I am always one step behind just trying to catch up with him. New tricks and faves?

• He crawls so fast! He never bends his elbows though, slightly hilarious.
• He can stand for one second unsupported, but mostly pulls himself up on anything possible.
• He can go from her to there, taking a few steps but never letting go to his support. (he seems realy far from walking still).
• He can scale his baby gate...literally holding on with his hands and feet with nothing touching the ground.
• He climbs everything.
• He will give "kisses" and "nuzzles" if its your lucky day.
• He loves to wave to everyone coming or going.
• He smacks his lips after something delicious.
• He discovered jello...and loved it.
• He loves cheetoe puffs (sooo my child).
• He loves anything marked Gerber Graduate...I guess that company knows what they are doing.
• He talks a lot, but is yet to make any sense.
• He gets hurt a lot but always moves on quickly.
• He loves his songs.
• He bobs to music now and waves his arms.
• He always crosses his ankles while sitting in his high chair.
• He sleeps in now until 8:30 or 9 but still goes to bed at 7...love it.
• He is not a fan of naps...at most he will take one short one a day.
• He thinks peekaboo is hilarious.
• He is ticklish.
• He will knock things down if you say BOOM.
• He likes to jump on his bed.
• He loves other babies...a bit too much.
• He takes toys from other children...working on that.
• He went to his first BYU football game!
• Just today he discovered standing up and trying to jump out of the shopping cart.
• Not a fan of his car seat.
• He loves to be chased.
• He is just a happy little guy

He makes us laugh all the time and you can always count on him for a smile. I am grateful I get to hang out with him so much, I am also dreading when he won't be by my side all the time. But for now, I will soak in all I can having my little bff. Happy 10 months Bubs!

Sometimes...

...life is exactly the way you want it. They are moments when you forget everything that stresses you out, or makes you unhappy or unsatisfied with your situation. They are the times that keep me in check. Today we treated ourselves to one of these times.

It was cold and rainy. My favorite. We slept in. Amazing.

 Banana chocolate chip pancakes. YUM.

 Fired up the cocomotion for the first time this season. Yay!

My two favorite people shared the whole thing with me. Perfect.

Life feels far from perfect, but I am grateful for times like this that help me remember when it comes to the things that actually matter, it sorta is perfect.

My Marathon Story {also the longest post I have ever drafted}

Allow me to start at the actual beginning (I don't expect anyone to read this entire post...I assure you it will be boring for everyone but me). It was my freshman year at BYU.  I had always enjoyed physical activity, but I had never really done it regularly, and I had never been particularly athletic. A few years of volleyball in high school, and a lot of hiking were about it. Well then I gained the freshman fifteen...or probably twenty...I don't really know how much but I do know it was too much. Anyways my roommate came home and said she had registered for the Rex Lee Run on campus in a few weeks. The free shirt she got was really cute. So I said to my other roommate...let's do it! I really just wanted the shirt. So we signed up for the 5k. She had run a 5k before...I had never run more than the mile they forced me to run in school once or twice a year...and I walked some of that I am sure.  So there I stood at the starting line...3 miles to go. It felt like a marathon at that point in my life. We started off...I thought I was going to die, but I didn't! I ran the entire thing. That day was my turning point.

I decided I wasn't going to let myself be overweight anymore. Sure I wasn't completely obese, but I was bigger than I wanted. I hated pictures of myself, and never felt confident in my appearance. Running that 5k had felt great. I had felt accomplished and more like myself already. And so it began. Winter semester ended, I moved home for the summer, and I was determined to return a different person in the Fall. Luckily my dear roommate and friend Marianne was willing to join me (even though she looked great all the time) in this summer of madness. My dad bought me a pass to the Orem Rec Center and said he would continue paying for it as long as I used it. I think I got his money's worth. Every morning, 5 days a week, I would pick Mare up at 5 am and we would go work out. We did classes some mornings, and various things on our own the other mornings. I also added an evening class twice a week. I went to bed at 9 every night so I could get up and exercise. I followed weight watchers to help me with nutrition. I ate out once that summer. One time. (aside from one vacation). I was so determined. I missed only one morning work out. I lost 30 pounds. I felt like me. I was confident. I felt healthy. I had energy. I was happy. I had found myself again.

That next semester was wonderful. I changed my major to Exercise Science and loved all my nutrition and exercise classes. I was passionate about the power a healthy lifestyle has to change a life. It was sometime during this semester I decided I wanted to run a marathon. That was in 2007.

Fast forward to 2009. I was married, in hair school, and still loving nutrition and exercise. I had yet to find a love for running. It was torture. I would work out a lot, but never wanted to run. I remembered my marathon dreams though. So I decided I wanted to do something about it. Marianne and I signed up for the Top of Utah Half Marathon. We trained. I cheated a bit in that training...and I still hated running most of the time. Race day came and I didn't feel fully prepared...but it went alright! I was proud. I felt accomplished, and I also felt like never in a million years could I run twice that distance. Never. I had a stress fracture from that race...and I lost all running endurance I had built up. Back to square one.

Fast forward to January 2011. It was a few weeks after I had Kyle. Once again, I felt blah. I didn't feel like myself for a million reasons but the shape my body was was definitely one of them. I wanted to feel myself  again. So I dug deep and found that will power I once had. Back to weight watchers. Back to working out...and once again, I signed up for the Rex Lee 5k. This time around was even harder than the first. I walked a lot, and was so sore afterwards. I had so far to go...was a marathon just a crazy out of reach idea? So I decided to do a little experiment. I would apply for the St. George Marathon. If I got in, I would do whatever it took to do it. If I didn't...I would just give up the marathon idea and move on with my life and other forms of exercise. April came. I got in. 

So I started a training program I found online...it was a little intense for me. It had me running 6 miles the first week...and I couldn't even run 2. So I googled "running a marathon for dummies". I found the most magical book! It is called The Non-Runners Marathon Trainer. It included a pre training program to get up to running 3 miles, then a 16 week training program. It also included info on nutrition and training your mind. It was my bible. I loved it. I was so determined. I had given up on running too many times. This was it. It felt so great to be dedicated to something and succeeding. Once I was telling Ryan how I hate stopping to walk because it is hard to get going again...he said "why don't you just run slow enough you never need to walk?" Genius. And so I did. I didn't walk one step of all my training. Even if I jogged slower than a walking pace, I kept going.

Each week I would run farther than I had ever run before. It was a constant feeling of achievement. I learned to love my morning runs. I only had to run 4 times a week. My running days were always happier, more energetic, and more productive. I loved to run. How did this happen?

Time for the marathon. The time had come. I was so nervous. I was so sick to my stomach. I wasn't afraid of not finishing...I was more afraid of what was ahead. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, and I thought there was a good chance it would be the hardest experience of my life. We got to St. George and went to the runners expo. We met my Uncle Tom there, who ended up being my hero, but I will get to that. I went to a first timers clinic...it only made me more nervous. Then we wandered around. Tom bought me a sweet sweatshirt, I found my new favorite headband, and I sampled different energy shots...most of which were nasty. After the expo we met up with my parents and my Dad supplied delicious Olive Garden for everyone.  It was so good...but I sort of felt like I was having my last meal. I hadn't expected to be so nervous...but I was freaking out. We left the condo where we were eating and Tom said he would pick me up around 4 the next morning. We went back to our room, watched a sweet BYU victory (we gave our tickets away...one of many sacrifices Ryan made so that I could do this), and then I tried to go to sleep. I was relieved when it was 3 am and I could stop trying to sleep.

 I got up, had a bagel, got dressed, and headed out. Hopped on the shuttle and up we went. It was an extremely long bus ride...I couldn't believe I was going to dropped off and run back. The nerves were getting worse and worse. We got to the starting line. It felt a bit chilly...but not bad. That made me nervous. I hate running in the heat...and if it was this warm at 5 am I could only imagine how hot it would get by the time I was crossing the finish line. I drank a little, ate my banana, and sat. We had about two hours to the start. Tom was doing a good job of chilling me out...saying it was just a run. It was actually pretty fun. So many different types of people to watch, but everyone with a common goal. It was fun to see people with really low numbers who would finish first. It was fun to listen to people talk about their time goals, and their running histories. As it got closer to the start time I decided to use the bathroom just in case. It just so happened out of thousands of people I got in line right in front of my cousins! It was nice to see familiar faces. It was now 6:30. Time to ditch our jackets and get ready to go.

6:45 came and went and it didn't seem like the race had started. Then we heard an announcement that the first 2000 runners had crossed the starting line...talk about anticlimatic! I didn't even know it had started! We finally crossed the start around 7. The minute I started running all my nerves were gone. I was just excited I was finally doing it! I was running a marathon. The first 7 miles flew by without me even noticing them really. Then the hill started. I was still ok. Tom was staying with me, even though he could have been much faster. At first I didn't want him to stay with me because I felt bad, then I realized how much I needed his coaching, encouragement, and company. It was good to not feel alone. It was pretty much uphill until mile 13. I was feeling pretty good, and looking forward to seeing my family at mile 16. It was starting to get hot but there was a nice breeze making it bearable.

We were coming up on mile 16 when I saw my family. What a wonderful sight! We stopped to say hi and take a few pictures. It was so fun to see them and think about how far I had come. We were quickly on our way. Things were getting hot now. I was tired and felt like the end was nowhere in sight. I never felt an actual "wall hitting" moment...but things definitely got tough between 17 and 18 miles. Tom stayed with me. Cheering me on, and keeping me positive. I started dumping water all over myself at each aid station to try and stay cool. I tried not to think about how far I had gone, or how much was left, I just thought every step I took was one closer to my goal. It then really hit me that this was it. I was doing it. At the end of this run I will have run a marathon. It will be over. I just kept running.

We hit mile 20. Tom said only a 10k left, piece of cake. I just focused on getting to the next aid station. It was so hot, I was so tired. Tom would run ahead but never left my sight. I can't explain how much it helped having him with me. 21-23 done. 3 miles left. A 5k. Such a seemingly insignificant distance...but it seemed so far at the moment. We entered St. George and there were a lot of spectators. Their cheers were great, and Tom seemed to have more energy at this point than he did at mile 1. A kid gave me a popsicle, and there were some people with their hoses offering to spray us. I accepted gladly. So hot. I saw a sign in the distance that said "Go Julie" in huge letters. I didn't even consider it being for me...then I realized it was Ryan's parents! Such a welcome sight! I was so close. Tom told me to walk a bit so that I could run and smile for the last stretch. We were approaching the last turn. He told me to run as hard as I could and if I collapsed it was ok, he would pick me up. We turned. I saw the finish line. It still felt so far away. I always pictured being able to find this inner strength to sprint to the end...but I was spent. I ran with everything I had left though. My dad was there screaming my name a few hundred yards from the finish. This was it! I kept going. There was the rest of my family cheering with their signs! I kept going. The bam! I was done! I had crossed the finish line! I had run a marathon. 26.2 miles. I stood there while they put a medal on me. Hugged Tom. Accepted the ice cream I was being handed, and went to meet my family.

It felt so good. I had done it. The thing I had worked so hard for. I had gotten up before the sun for months. I had pushed myself to places I didn't think possible. I had endured the actual race. At the beginning of the year ago I couldn't run a 5k and I just ran a marathon! I hadn't done it alone. I prayed my way through training and even more so through that race. Without Ryan taking the morning shift with Kyle I never could have been able to do all my training. My parents and Ryan's parents took a trip to come down to support me. That family support was priceless. My sweet sisters in law sent cards, packages, and made a sign to cheer me on. My sister trained with me the weeks she was here to help power me up. And perhaps most of all, Tom stayed with me. I didn't anticipate needing him the way I did, and I don't know that he understands how much it helped and meant to me. Thank you to everyone who helped make this possible for me.

We ended the trip with Nielsen's Frozen Custard. Satin in my mouth. SO GOOD! Then we headed back to Orem. Mission accomplished. 

Now its over I get asked, "will you do it again"? Yes. And to anyone out there who has the desire to do it, DO IT! If I can, I know you can. And it is all totally worth it. Am I my ideal size right now? Nope. But I am proud of myself. I worked at something hard and I did it. Do something today to make you happy with yourself. Cut your hair, work out, eat some veggies, go to bed early..be happy with you! This marathon was one of the most challenging, painful, spiritual, amazing experiences of my life...maybe even topping the list.