What a mighty mighty good man

Oh Ryan. I have a little gushing tribute planned for our anniversary, so I will keep this brief. But I loved getting to celebrate him on Father's Day cause folks, he is a good one. I strive for so many of his parenting qualities. He is so loving, patient, FUN, and great with our kids. He is Kyle's real bff, and seeing how Zoe can melt him basically melts me. Like wow. He always requests tacos al pastor whenever he gets the chance and I have gotten better at making them. He said yesterday's were the best so far. Woo! Thanks for taking such good care of us Ry!

Good vibrations

Saturday we had some fun at Summer Fest. Kyle had a blast on the *ghetto* rides, loved the drums in the parade, got to sit in the pilot's seat of a real helicopter (his life is complete) and then enjoyed the fireworks with friends quite a bit. It was one of those magical days spent with our little family where everything just feels amazing. Summer can do that to ya. 

But really, does life get sweeter than this?

KayZee

So I have had fun thinking of alternatives to referring to Kyle and Zoe as "my kids". Makes me feel old or weird or something. Saying my littles as so so many do these days is just not me. My usual go to is My posse. But today I thought of KayZee. Ya know, like J-Zee sorta? Anyways. This is an update on my two friends Kyle and Zoe.

Kyle *2.5*

• He is hilarious. The things he says... I need to be better at writing them down. I love it, but boy will he talk your ear off.
• He got two molars completing his full set of teeth. Let's not forget he got his first two before 4 months, and had eight by 6 months. Chompers.
• He loves listening to the radio and has to know the name of every artist. He can now identify Pink, Macklemore, Maroon 5, Imagine Dragons, Beyonce, Justin Timberlake, Tay Swift, and a few others correctly every time. 
• He is a very early riser. Let's change that...
• He loves to "work out" daily. 
• He loves melon above all else. 
• He loves friends and cousins, always prefers to be social.
• He is obsessed with cars, trucks, tractors and airplanes.
• He is a mini Ryan. He loves to know how everything works. The only way I got him excited about the splash pad was having Ryan explain to him how the pumps work to shoot the water. He will tell anyone who will listen about pumps and water pressure. He also loves Myth Busters, and other documentary style shows about how things work.
• He is a huge fan of sun screen. Good thing...have you seen the boy?
• He loves to dig in the dirt.
• He loves to play baseball and soccer.
• He is Mr. Independent. Loves picking out his clothes, putting on his own shoes, and insists on attempting pretty much everything "all by myself".
• He can say prayers unassisted.
• He is still half potty trained...really need to finish him off.
• He is very sweet. Always asking how I feel, if I'm ok...things like that.
• He loves to dance. The kid has moves. 
• He also loves to sing. Twinkle Twinkle is his specialty.
• He hates, HATES, above all else to bathe. That's a fun battle daily:)
• He is a true pleasure to be around. Love him SO much.

Zoe *one month*

• Doesn't have many tricks yet, but is perfectly cute enough to make up for it.
• Loves to eat! She eats more now than Kyle at like 4 months. No lie.
• She is a champ at sleeping in her bed at night, but likes to be held all day. Thank goodness its not the other way around.
• She rarely cries. 
• She hates her arms swaddled but loved her legs wrapped nice and tight.
• Goes right to sleep any time I attempt tummy time.
• She is out of the newborn size, though 0-3 are still a bit big.
• She can often be found scowling. Its funny.
• Gives us little smiles, though I doubt they are intentional.
• Hasn't lost any hair...time will tell.
• She is getting fat rolls and several chins. Nothing makes me happier!
• She loves the sun. Loves to bask.
• Obsessed with her. Seriously.

Sweet Summer

Even with a new baby around we have already been able to enjoy so many fun summer activities. Best so far?

• City Creek and Temple Square. Kyle dug up some flowers, Zoe snoozed, and we had a great time. 
• Swimming for the kids and I. We went to the Scera pool one day. Loved it! It took Kyle about 30 minutes to feel like getting in the water but once he did he had a fabulous time! We got him a shave ice after of course.
• Playing with friends and cousins. Kyle loves his cousins so much. It was awesome living close to so many of them. I love watching him play and have fun with other kids. Sometimes I feel bad he is so lonely here all day with me.
• Visiting the temple. "Mom I need my wallet so I can go in the temple and get married please." -Kyle
• Evening baseball. We play with just one base. Kyle LOVES it.
• Picnics. We eat outside a lot. And love it.
• Crafternoon with friends. We made great stuff and Kyle and Emmett loved destroying the house (and sometimes each other) while we did it. Tie dying is ALWAYS a good idea.

Lucky Lucky Lucky

I just want to get some of my recent feelings written down. I have mentioned before how scared I was to have another baby because of the postpartum depression issues I had with Kyle. It was seriously such a dark time for me. And even after I bounced back and snapped out of it, I still didn't REALLY believe people when they said they just loved motherhood, were obsessed with their baby, had never been happier...things like that in regards to their newborn and their life right after a baby. Don't get me wrong, I have always loved Kyle. But I could not relate to those feelings. I just figured I wasn't a baby person. I prefer my kids a little older. I thought this until the very second I saw Zoe.

That overwhelming happiness and love hit instantly. She is about four weeks old now. Sure I have had a few emotional meltdowns and struggled to adjust a bit. But overall I feel joy and gratitude. She is so perfect. So special. When I see pregnant people I want to hug them and tell them they are about to experience the most amazing experience of their lives. It is such a miracle. I can't even begin to explain the feelings. We have known Zo was coming to our family for a while now, before she was actually on her way. The first time I saw her it was like seeing a face I already knew, but had been missing.

I don't love Zoe more than Kyle. Not at all. Having this experience with Zoe has helped me understand a new dimension of motherhood I didn't know before. I feel forever changed. I wouldn't wish what happened to me after Kyle on anyone, but being able to see the difference this time around has been a huge learning experience for me.

It sounds cliche but I don't know what I did to deserve such greatness in my home. Ryan is the best thing that ever happened to me. Kyle is the biggest light and so special. Everyday as I talk and play with him I am blown away by how remarkable he is. When he gives me a kiss and says I love you... I just can't think of anything better. Zoe is already a little piece of perfect. They all deserve better than what I have to offer, but I will spend my whole forever trying to be worthy of their love. I can honestly say, sincerely, I have never been happier. I feel so complete. Above all I am overwhelmed with gratitude for these three choice people in my life.